after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
