I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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