Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
