I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize