so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
