i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
