I met the friendliest cop last night
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Ketchup is God's man juice
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
