i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Welp...herpes.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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