im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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