I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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