he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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