I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
