I wish I only lived at night.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
