I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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