...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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