Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
