It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
