apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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