Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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