We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
