Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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