I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Randomize
