please come you make the beer taste better
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
