Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
