Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize
