If i come over, it means nothing
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Say something about gay babies.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
