all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize