If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
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