he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
