HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Randomize
