what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
And then my night got REAL pukey
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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