you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
