apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
You've changed since you got that strap on
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
FUCK WHALES
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
