we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Randomize
