I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Randomize
