found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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