Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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