i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
