Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
