everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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