We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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