ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Randomize
