But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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