While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize