She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
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