my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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