First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
