Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
