there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
