Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
