my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
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