I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
