sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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