those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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