I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
