there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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