Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
