Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
do herpes really smell.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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