a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize
