He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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