she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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